


Holy Shit, You're Batman.

by Splotcher



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Gen, The Shaft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-29
Updated: 2014-01-29
Packaged: 2018-01-10 12:37:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1159822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Splotcher/pseuds/Splotcher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elevator conversation. Enough said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holy Shit, You're Batman.

**Author's Note:**

> Another in my list of fics that I'm trying to gather in one place. This is one of those 'we're stuck in an elevator conversations' (I know I have two, I will find and post the other because it is actually funnier than this one, I promise.)

He prides himself on being ready for every situation. About to lose that two million dollar client? Hundred solutions, ready to be tailor made for any resolution. Blindsided by an opposing attorney? Wouldn’t happen, but he has an app for that too.

But he’ll be damned if he know what to really do about his associate slowly going insane beside him. Apparently Mike didn’t like being locked in the elevator. Or maybe it was just because he was stuck with his boss. Or whatever.

“-and while we were in court today, I swear I thought I was in a movie, that lawyer looked just like-”

He supposed he could just tell the kid to shut up, but he had precious little else to listen to in the stalled elevator. With the busted phone. And the lack of cell phone reception. 

He would personally head hunt a maintenance crew from the most prestigious firm other than his own. Somewhere where the elevators didn’t break down every few nights, because-

“HOLY SHIT!”

He whips his head around, expecting to see Mike either being struck by a sudden epiphany on how to get out or being eaten by the elevator.

Mike looked right at him. “You’re Batman!”

The few minutes of silent seemed to pass for hours. In that time, he took the liberty of checking Mike for aberrant behavior.

No red eyes, no laid back attitude. Not pot then.

He was, however, jittery and excited. Anxious. And now more than a little embarrassed.

And opening his mouth and closing it like a landed trout. 

Hell. They weren’t going anywhere anyway. 

“That would make you the boy wonder, wouldn’t it? Shouldn’t you be aiming for a bit higher than whipping boy?”

“No, see, I chose to be Dick Grayson, who after learning from Batman, became Nightwing and even more badass than he was.”

“You wish.” He smirks a bit.

“That would make the lawyer today Harvey Dent.”

“No one in their right mind would vote for a man named Kane Finger.”

“Donna would have to be Barbara Gordon. She would be Batgirl.”

“Are you kidding? On a purely practical standpoint of ability, she would be Catwoman.”

“How do you figure?” Mike looks puzzled. Then he got a look in his eyes.

“Not that. I’m talking about personality and ability. Batwoman was capable, but constantly fawned over Batman. Does that sound like Donna to you?”

A flicker of understanding passed Mike’s face, so he continued. “Catwoman could be persuaded to do good, if it suited her. Otherwise she did whatever the hell she wanted to do. And was capable doing it.”

Mike nods in understanding. Then he pauses. “Does she even like cats?”

And for a brief moment, Harvey is struck with how stupid this conversation is, but much like the runaway train it is, there’s no real stopping it now.

“That would mean that Jessica is probably Wonder Woman. She’s got the whole tall powerful woman thing going.”

“Taller than Batman.” Harvey heard himself mutter. Mike didn’t notice. 

“And it works, because instead of a lasso of truth, she had an army of lawyers to get the truth. Way better than rope, and so much easier to talk about at like, business meetings.”

Harvey has a sudden image of Jessica tying up opposing council. He can’t laugh. That would be undignified and would feed the fire.

“Louis would have to be a supervillian. Or an antihero. No, a supervillian.”

“Well, don’t make a decision right now.” He says with total indifference Mike opened his mouth to make some retort, witty or not, when the elevator lurches suddenly.

Mike squeaks undignifiedly. “I shouldn’t have watched The Shaft.”

“You have time to watch movies?” He asks. The tone was condescending, a great way to detract from the fact that he seems to have watched the same channel last night.

A moment passes and the elevator starts again, heading to the floor that it is only thirty minutes late getting to. He can hear Mike release a relieved breath. The door opens on the ground floor. If they step out a little faster than normal, no one is around to prove it. 

They part ways, but Harvey finds himself wondering later that night if Louis really would be a supervillian or antihero, and he supposes that conversation is best finished the next time they end up in an elevator together. 

If he waits a bit before finding new maintenance staff.


End file.
